We're making progress!!

I think we've turned the corner, ya'll.

After lots of this:

and alot of prayer, tears, and plain hard work.......

Our sweet, beautiful girl was completely relaxed around me today! Praising the LORD with my whole heart tonight for the hope He has given me!

We had missions conference at church last week, and Brent wanted me to stay home on Thursday with Lyssie. It was our first time being alone, and I think it did wonders for starting our relationship.

I snuggled, held and played with her all evening. It was so sweet for me to have that time with just HER. I was able to put her to bed--with minimal crying---for the first time, since she usually wants only Daddy.

Friday was a pretty good day, and Saturday and Sunday were good as well......

This was taken when she was only home a few days. You can see how empty her eyes looked at first :(

BUT!!!! Today, oh-sweet-today! Alyssia didn't cry when Daddy left, she put her arms up to me to be held, she let me snuggle her sweet little body, she came to me several times to show me an "owie", she smiled AT ME, and giggled when I played "This Little Piggy", she rolled a ball back and forth with me, AND she even let me tuck her in for "night-night"!!!!

If you're a biological Mommy reading this, you might not see the big deal. Our bio kiddos learn attachment from us when they're still teeny-tiny babies. It just comes easy for them AND us.

But it's SO important to bond with and attach to our adopted children (and them to us!), and, quite honestly, it takes HARD WORK. It doesn't just "happen" because they're placed in our home. It's a result of planned, purposeful, repeated effort on our behalf.

So when I saw the first glimmer of attachment beginning with my little one today, I rejoiced. A few days ago I couldn't even touch her without her crying! She shut me out to protect her little heart, and I can only imagine how hard this all has been on her.

It's just the beginning, but I've been down this road before, and it's SO worth the journey!

There's still ALOT of work ahead of us, but we've started down the road to love, and I'm not looking back again.

Family Picture

If you're just reading this blog for the first time, or haven't been reading for long, just a little FYI:

Pay no attention to the family picture at the top of the page.

It's pathetically outdated.

It actually WAS taken this past spring, but....

we added two girls to our family since then.

And I actually DID post a new picture, after Johanna came home.

I'd link to it here if I had any clue how to do that kind of stuff....:)

But, anyway, we have yet to take a picture with our family as it looks today by "the" fence so I can post it as my blog header.

Mostly because our littlest blessing has only been home for 2 weeks, and has spent most of that time avoiding me like the plague :), so a family photo session has SO not been in our minds just yet.

So, if you're just joining us, pay no attention to the outdated picture.

One of these days I'll get around to changing it to reflect our growing family, and all seven of our childen ........:)

Two Weeks Home

Tonight marks two weeks that Alyssia Xiao Bao has been a part of our family. Overall, she's doing pretty well, considering her entire world was just turned upside-down.

The mommy/daughter bonding is going very slow. She definitely prefers Daddy to me, which is expected I guess. I'm doing everything I know to do, and praying she can learn to trust me. She is obviously holding back her emotions.....sometimes she'll start to smile at me and then realize what she's doing, and immediately go stone-faced again.

That being said, I'm having a hard time some days. Today was a little better, though. She actually smiled a couple of times at me and didn't fall apart when Brent walked in the door like she normally does. I can still feel her tense up if I try to kiss her or snuggle her, although she did lay her head down on my shoulder for a brief moment yesterday.

I was prepared for this, at least in my head, but I'm not sure you can really prepare your heart for the hurt of rejection. I do understand why she feels this way, but-oh!-how I long to kiss away the tears and help mend her broken heart.

Forgive my lack of blogging this week----every spare minute is spent taking care of Lyssie. We also started back to homeschooling on Monday, so my days are even busier.

In case I haven't mentioned it lately :), I LOVE my life! But my Mommy heart is sad right now, as we work through some deep emotional tunnels with our newest love.

Hopefully I'll be back to regular blogging soon!

A Perfect Day

Today was a truly Perfect Day......our first Family Day as a family of NINE.

We spent our day at the breathtakingly beautiful Carters Mountain Apple Orchard.

Picking apples.....

Eating apples and looking absolutely adorable....

Getting a quick family picture taken by a friendly stranger.....

Sitting in the grass, enjoying the cool weather, the mountain breeze, and the joy on our children's faces as they played, explored, and ate apple after apple.....

Daddy of three 2 year olds:

Momma to four girls, one of which was clearly NOT happy to be on my lap :)

Building family bonds......

Getting all sweaty wrestling with his brothers and Daddy, which then led to him losing his first top tooth!

Experiencing "brotherly love".....

Having a giggle at Noah about to lose his pants..... :)

Taking a scenic hayride through the orchard....

Yes, it was a perfect day, in so many ways.

But the best part, by far, for me?

Getting some smiles, giggles, and snuggles for the first time from my newest (and youngest) daughter:

Little by little, moment by moment, day by day, she's letting me into her world. Today, for a while at least, she let her guard down and enjoyed some Momma lovin'.

And that made it a truly Perfect Day! :)

Back to Work

Brent started back to work today.

As we expected, Alyssia was very sad. He openly said "good-bye" because we didn't want it to seem like he just disappeared.

She cried for a while, then calmed down to just a whimper and a "baba" every now and then.

For whatever reason, in her little mind, I am the "bad" guy. :) She still wants NOTHING to do with me.

I have always loved children and taught or babysat children since I was very young. I'm good with little ones, and I've had alot of practice with them. I've truly never had a child dislike me this much!

If she's playing and happy and I walk into the room, she starts crying. ANYONE is better than Mama right now---of course, Baba is best, but if he's not available, she'll cry for JieJie (big sister) or GeGe (big brother).

But Mama?

No way.

Alyssia did let me take care of all of her needs today and even held my hand a few times without falling apart.

I snuggled her at nap time, and while she fought me, and clearly didn't like it, she did fall asleep and took a good nap.

And OH, how happy she was when Baba came home! I made sure I was the one to take her to him, trying to reassure her that I'm not trying to take her from him.....

For the record, this is exactly how she treated Brent for the first week, so I'm pretty hopeful she'll grow to like me eventually.

At least, I'm trying to convince myself that she will...... :)

I do know that this is completely normal, and I did expect it to be this way. But it does hurt a little, mostly because I love her so completely---she's my DAUGHTER now!----and I'm just dying to shower her with that love.

I'll keep you updated as the week unfolds.....

Alyssia's 2nd Birthday, in her own Words

"I may be the birthday girl, but I'm not going to be happy about it!" ;)

"No, I don't want to sit in my highchair! I told you, I'm not happy about being the birthday girl...."

"Why are all of these strange people singing a funny song? And what do they want me to do with this bright, fire thing?"

"Hmmm, this is pretty tasty. (But I'm STILL not happy that I'm the birthday girl!)"

"Cake? I know what to do with cake!"

"Hasn't this woman taken enough pictures of me yet? It's just cake, silly!"

"You want me to eat YOUR cake, too?? Okay, sure! But I'm NOT happy about it!" :)

"Goodness, being the birthday girl is exhausting. And I'm not one bit happy about it, either."

Home

Brent and Alyssia Xiao Bao are home at last.

They landed in Richmond last night at 9 pm. The four oldest children and I met them at the airport, while my dad graciously agreed to babysit the little ones so they could go to bed.

She's chubby, soft and sweet. Spent the night in restless sleep, snuggled up as close as possible to her "baba" (Chinese for Daddy).

This morning, she's enjoyed playing with the other children, even giving a few hugs and smiles.

But she wants NOTHING to do with me. :)

I'm pretty sure she thinks this is the next "hand-off".....a repeat, if you will, of two weeks ago, when she was told "Here is your new baba---he loves you!" and then they were gone forever.

Now, here is the "new baba" saying---"Here is your new mama---she loves you!"

AND SHE IS NOT BUYING IT ONE BIT.

I'm taking it in stride, knowing it won't last forever.

But OH, how I'm longing to snuggle her little self. I have taken the liberty of kissing her cheek and she's just as kissable as I had hoped!