Friday, October 7, 2011

Two Weeks Home

Tonight marks two weeks that Alyssia Xiao Bao has been a part of our family. Overall, she's doing pretty well, considering her entire world was just turned upside-down.

The mommy/daughter bonding is going very slow. She definitely prefers Daddy to me, which is expected I guess. I'm doing everything I know to do, and praying she can learn to trust me. She is obviously holding back her emotions.....sometimes she'll start to smile at me and then realize what she's doing, and immediately go stone-faced again.

That being said, I'm having a hard time some days. Today was a little better, though. She actually smiled a couple of times at me and didn't fall apart when Brent walked in the door like she normally does. I can still feel her tense up if I try to kiss her or snuggle her, although she did lay her head down on my shoulder for a brief moment yesterday.

I was prepared for this, at least in my head, but I'm not sure you can really prepare your heart for the hurt of rejection. I do understand why she feels this way, but-oh!-how I long to kiss away the tears and help mend her broken heart.

Forgive my lack of blogging this week----every spare minute is spent taking care of Lyssie. We also started back to homeschooling on Monday, so my days are even busier.

In case I haven't mentioned it lately :), I LOVE my life! But my Mommy heart is sad right now, as we work through some deep emotional tunnels with our newest love.

Hopefully I'll be back to regular blogging soon!


  1. I am still praying for you, Selina!

  2. Praying for your bonding! Praying that she can trust in you.

  3. It occurred to me when I came home with my first daughter from China, and again now as I am 1 week home with a 14 year old . . . when it comes to our Heavenly Father, we all have broken attachment/attachment disorder. God must think about each of us the way we are longing to love our daughters right now! From 7th Day Slumber:
    I'll be by your side
    Wherever you fall
    In the dead of night
    Whenever you call
    And please don't fight
    These hands that are holding you
    My hands are holding you

  4. Such a great, thought provoking post, Lora! Thanks for your insight...I am definitely going to use it in the future! :)

    Selina, you don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for some time. I practically ran to the computer each day that you spent bringing Johanna home, and have so enjoyed watching your family multiply again!

    Our God is so good! He brought you to it, and He will get you through it! Just remember, He is leading and teaching you, too, as you teach this precious little one about the true meaning of unconditional love. He has equipped you for this purpose.

    You and your family are amazing!

    Prayers from Lexington, Ky.


  5. What a hard situation, that's for sure. I will continue to pray for your family. We all know that time helps, but each day must feel so long to your little daughter as she feels so alone right now in the midst of all your love.

    I am looking forward to a time when she'll really need you and you'll be there for her and she'll open her heart to you. Perhaps it will be when she forgets to guard her smile, or when she falls and skins her knee or gets a virus that makes her feel bad, or perhaps you're love for her will simply grow in her heart until she realizes one day that it's there.


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