Q & A, Part 2, Your Questions Answered

(If you're just joining us, scroll down or click HERE to read about the GAME we're playing, see the wonderful comments and questions from my readers AND to leave a comment of your own! The more comments, the more questions I'll answer!)


First, let me say that ya'll have given me SO many great questions! I think I'll be working my way through these for weeks, lol.

HOW DID YOU AFFORD SO MANY ADOPTIONS SO QUICKLY?

What a fabulous question! Let me start by saying that we are not wealthy---by any means! :) Since the birth of our first child, we have lived off of Brent's income alone. When we look at our income next to the cost of our three adoptions----well, the two columns just shouldn't line up!

But God is so good. Isn't He? :)

With Gabbey, our first adoption, we used all of our tax return for the beginning fees (HS, agency fees, etc). Then we used Brent's 401K for most of the rest of the fees. Her adoption ended up being far more expensive than the other two, in part because more people traveled, but mostly because we chose a cheaper agency the second time around. The $13,000 tax credit from Gabbeys' adoption and the $5,000 employer reimbursement per adoption (we recieved a total of $15,000) were then used towards Lyssie and Johanna's adoptions.

We did receive three grants and three loans (one loan from an adoption company and two loans from our parents) for the second two adoptions. Once we recieve our final tax refund (which, ahem, could be tomorrow or six months from now, depending on the IRS) we will have paid off EVERYTHING and be completely debt free again (with the exception of our 15 passenger van and our home). This is a huge blessing, because, while we certainly would be willing to make payments for years in order to bring our girls home, we have always strived to live as debt-free as possible.

I highly recommend researching ABBA FUND, LIFESONG , JSC FOUNDATION, SHOW HOPE, and A CHILD WAITS FOUNDATION if the Lord has laid adoption on your heart and you don't have 20 or 30 thousand dollars collecting dust in the bank. LOL. I personally know families that have received anywhere from $3,000 to $20,000 in grant monies from these organizations.

Aside from having a yard sale, one dear couple in our church giving us the money for a plane ticket, and my sister giving us a check, we did not recieve any money from our church, family, or friends. I do know many, many families who are able to raise much of the necessary money through these outlets, though. We did cut out many "extras" for the two years we were needing so much extra cash for our adoptions.

Which leads me to the next question.....

HOW DO YOU AFFORD  FAMILY VACATIONS?

Our family LOVES to go on vacations (or weekend trips, overnight get-aways, or day excursions). Basically, we love to pile in our van and GO! (We even have a family song we wrote about such trips....but I digress.)

Due to the high cost of the adoptions, we didn't take a true family vacation the past two years. (We did go to Family Camp last summer, but it was very reasonably priced AND we had booked it before we decided to adopt Johanna so the money was already spent at that point.)

My sweet hubby works in Business Sales. Which means he's using technology ALL THE TIME. Cell-phones, laptop, email. It's his life during the work week. So he plans time to unplug and spend quality time with our family.

As far as actually affording the vacations, well, maybe I can get Brent to write a post about this topic. Bartering, bargain-shopping, researching vacation spots, and getting the very best deals around are his specialty. I'll let him share more about that since he's the vacation planner and I'm the wash and then pack everything we own---and then some---into our van girl. :)

HAVE YOU EVER HAD FAMILY MEMBERS OPPOSE YOUR ADOPTIONS?

No.

Our extended famlies---even the ones who we might not be "intimately close" with---have all been supportive of our choice to adopt and our girls.

That being said, they did all know that we were really crazy about children and wanted a whole bunch. So I don't think our adoption decisions came as a big shock. :)

We have faced some negativity, but not from our family. Some people just feel the need to comment on your decisions or family size. While there is certainly wisdom in counsel (if everyone you know is saying DON'T, maybe they're right?), there will be naysayers in any major decision you make as a family.

I don't know how to say this gently, so I'm just going to say it: We don't ask permission of ANYONE  before making a biological baby, and we don't need their permission to adopt one, either. If a husband and wife have taken their family size/adoption choice before the LORD and HE has given them clear direction, then it doesn't matter what people think or say, does it? Obey God. :)

Family size is clearly a GOD/HUSBAND/WIFE decision.

IS THERE ANY REASON YOU'VE ADOPTED ALL GIRLS?

When we first started the adoption process in January of 2010, we had one girl and three precious rambunctious boys. :) Eliana had prayed for a sister for years. We obviously requested to be matched with a girl.

We reviewed about 10 files when we were ready to adopt the second time. Both boys and girls, with various special needs. I told the agency that we were hoping for a boy or girl a year or two OLDER than our two babies (who were not yet 2 at the time).

The last file we viewed was Alyssia. Our agency mis-read her information and told me she was almost 3 years old. Perfect in my mind! :) We started to fall in love and then we re-read through the fine print and realized she was another 2009 baby! I vividly remember sitting on the couch with Brent, gazing at Alyssia's picture, asking each other----can we really do THREE babies the same age?

Well, you all know what the answer was. She was ours. And OH MY we haven't regretted that decision for even a milisecond. (Okay, so there have been days like THIS ONE where I thought the virtual toddlers were going to get the better of me. :))

Johanna came about very unexpectedly, and her story is told in part HERE.

So there is no partiality for girls in our home....it's just worked out that we've adopted three of them. If we are blessed to be able to adopt again, we will more than likely bring home a boy (or two!). :)


Enough for tonight, friends. I'm getting tired. :) But keep the questions coming and I'll do my very best to answer them to the best of my ability. And thanks for reading and sharing in our story.

Girls and Swimming

I received a question regarding this post and our girls' swimming attire. :)

We do believe in modesty in our home, and try to teach modesty in dress and attitude with our girls. There is so much to being a lady---clothing is just one part, that's for sure!

But as we're teaching our children to keep their bodies covered appropriately and to keep the focus on their countenances, the question will arise---what about swimming?

For our family, we do not change our modesty standards when our bodies go near a body of water. :)

We have been so happy with swim shirts and shorts on our little boys. Dressing the girls in comfortable water apparel can be a little harder, though! I know there are some wonderful websites that make modest swim clothing for girls (I actually own one from www.wholesomewear.com that works great and keeps me comfortable in and out of the water!) but they are pricey and it's just not practical for us to spend that much on growing girls. :)

So we usually purchase swim shirts (Ellie's pink one is actually just an "athletic" shirt from Target) and try to find long swim trunks in girly colors to wear with them. I was tickled to find both girls pink trunks at a consignment sale. I think they're both Land's End brand, but I didn't pay Land's End pricing. :)  Johanna's swim shirt was from a thrift store and doesn't match her swim trunks, but we haven't found an inexpensive alternative yet, and she didn't care anyway. :)

I usually don't get more than my ankles wet at the ocean, so I just wear my regular clothing. But my girls are growing girls who love to swim when they have the chance, so I'm thankful for modest clothing choices for them. :)

Aren't you impressed? TWO posts in one evening! :) Too bad I can't just plug a cord into my brain and automatically download the rest of the posts waiting there. LOL

Weekend in Words

We took our children for a quick weekend get-away. I took a total of TWO pictures! Seriously, what is wrong with me?

Um, I was too busy taking care of six children to take their picture. :)

Anyway, back to our weekend. It was spent in breathtaking Lancaster County, PA. I grew up in Pennsylvania, in the heart of Amish and Mennonite country, and I simply LOVE going back.

Our children were thrilled to finally get to see "Joseph" at Sight-and-Sound. It was amazing! A lovely family tradition. We've seen three of their productions now.

Noah, on the trip home today, said, "Daddy, I'm going to be like Joseph." Daddy replied, "How?" Our adorable 4 year old said then, "I'm not going to do wrong, I'm going to choose to do right!"

He got the moral of the story, don't you think?

Sunday we visited the sweet people at Charity Christian Fellowship. Charity is a "plain" church, and run much differently than the average church. The men and women sit on separate sides of the room (although visitors are welcome to sit together), the service lasts for 3 hours, there is no nursery or children's programs, no choir, no instruments, no "modern" clothing......

What there IS at Charity is a beautiful spirit of worship, in both the acapella singing and the preaching/teaching. There is hospitality like we've never known in a church---we've been there 3 times and been invited over to MULTIPLE families' homes for lunch each time. There is a simple beauty, innocence, sweetness to the faces of the children.

It was, completely, a lovely weekend. Lots of great family bonding time. Sweet memories with good friends.

We needed it.

Especially since Brent is booking his ticket tonight.

He leaves in FIVE days.

Life in the Bergey Bunch is about to change.

Again.

Family Camp 2011 at the Bill Rice Ranch

There's alot I have to say (write) regarding our upcoming adoptions, but before I get into all of that, I HAVE to share about our week at Family Camp.

Not wanting to send our little ones off (without us) to camp, we were looking for an alternative, a place where we could have fun, build memories, and grow in the Lord TOGETHER.

And The Bill Rice Ranch did NOT disappoint us! :)

The food was fabulous (not to mention I didn't WASH ONE DISH for a whole week!) the activities were family-friendly and enjoyed by all....

But for me, the services were the best part. Uplifting, Godly music and congretational singing coupled with strong, practical preaching. My idea of a good time :)

Really, the Lord convicted my heart in many ways this past week.....one of the "best" messages was on a "Grumbling Spirit". Oh, how I needed this one! My heart is so quick to think of myself, of MY needs or wants, of MY inconveniences, of MY schedule, etc, etc....I repented of this complaining spirit and I am striving to be more sensitive to the needs of others, and less vocal about the needs of myself.

I would appreciate your prayers for me as I'm being stretched this year as never before. We're adding three precious girls to our home in one year, and Momma needs to be Spirit-filled to accomplish all I must accomplish in my husband and children's lives. More than anything, I desire to glorify HIM in every aspect of my life. I want my marriage, my parenting, my words, my actions and my very LIFE to point others to the Saviour.

All of HIM, none of ME is my prayer.

Anyway, take my word for it, the preaching was good, and I needed it.

We were so blessed to be able to attend camp with some dear friends of ours from church, the Lewis clan. Their four children are some of our children's dearest friends, and it was so much fun watching them interact this week. Roy and Angela and Brent and I enjoyed sweet fellowship (especially late at night!) and we're so glad we could go to camp together!

I know this is alot of pictures, but I just couldn't narrow it down to a "few", so I'm posting all of my favorites from the week....

Playing fuseball with Everett, Emily, and Elise

Angela Lewis with Gabbey (who is fascinated by jewelry!)

Mealtime....one of our favorite times of the day! :)

Everett, Nathaniel, Eliana, Emily, and Elise

Who's this cute cowboy? Must be Noah!

Brent's mom sent us some new matching dresses for camp. Such a blessing in these busy days when my time for sewing is very limited.

Love these girls so much!

Where's ETHAN? :)

There he is!

Friendship....

Gorgeous Gabriella Mei! She's walking really well now and thinks she's ALL GROWN UP. :)

Had to throw this one in, so you can see that my toddlers are not always smiling! Sometimes they are downright cranky, especially when they're exhausted from getting up early and going to bed late at camp....

All-in-all, it was a wonderful week.

So wonderful, in fact, that we already paid our deposit on next year's Family Camp! We think Johanna and Alyssia need to experience camp with us next year, don't you?  :)

Exhausted, and Random Thoughts....

My day started at 6 this morning, packing and getting everything (and everyBODY!) loaded into our van. We seriously are feeling the need for a bigger van about now. :) Our mini-van does seat eight, so Johanna will have a seat, but Alyssia won't fit, so sometime between now and bringing her home, we need a bigger van. I've got too much else to worry about right now, though, so I'm not even going to think about how we'll work that one out.

Anyway, back to my day. We left at 9 am, drove all day (with not too many stops, no small feat for a long road trip with littles!) and crashed into our hotel here in Franklin, TN around 9 pm. All the children are sleeping, and I'm pretty sure I won't be too far behind them. :)

It was actually a good trip (except for the fact that there was NO leg room for anyone, due to the fact that I had to bring just about everything we own. Almost anyway.). The youngest two had a few moments of fussiness, but all in all, I was proud of them. Brent and I have had a few road trips where they've ALL been screaming or crying by the end of the trip, so this one ranked as a "good" trip lol.

The hardest part of the trip always seems to be the "finding a hotel" and "getting settled into the hotel" part. We didn't book in advance on the chance we weren't able to drive it all in one day, so we had to check a couple of hotels for pricing and availability. The children, by this time, were DONE, and quite honestly, so was I. :) I tried playing a game of "What animal makes this sound?" and thankfully, it was only about 1/2 an hour of torture stress.

I was thinking today, how the next family trip we take will be with Johanna (and maybe Alyssia, too!). Johanna has never taken a family vacation. I wonder what she will think of her first family trip?

I found myself counting down the days today. Lord willing, in 17 days I will meet our Johanna Ling! Oh, dear, now I just reminded myself of all I need to do before then!

Ethan (just turned 2 years) is positively adorable these days. His language skills have literally exploded and it's so much fun listening to him talk and having conversations with him! Today, he was full of cuteness in the car. I sat next to both babies (in the middle row of the van) and had a blast talking to my little man. I need to post a video of his voice before it changes again.....

Well, I'm getting too tired to think anymore. I think I'd better call it a night! Camp starts after church tomorrow. We're praying the Lord does a mighty work in our family this week.

Good night, all.