Day 13: Parent, The Teacher, Part 3

*Disclaimer: This post is long. I know that. I'm asking you to consider taking the time to read every word, slowly. I really feel like this is the essence of Grace Parenting. It's the foundation all of the other thoughts, tips, and methods are built on. With that in mind, I'm asking you: Please don't skip this post. 

Last time, we talked about the importance of teaching our children in the areas of education and emotions.

Today we're going to talk about how we can teach our children spiritually.

Because, in the end, if we have gained the whole world, but lost the soul of our child....we have truly lost it all.

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Many parents talk about God with their young children. It goes something like this:

"Johnny, what you just did was BAD. Jesus is sad now. You don't want Jesus to be sad, do you? Well, then, you need to obey."

or

"God hates lying. The Bible says 'XYZ' about lying. You better never lie again."

or

"God punishes me when I disobey Him. That's why I have to punish you now."

Each one of these scenarios (while mixed with some truth) is NOT giving our children the gospel of grace.

It is using God as a discipline threat.

We shouldn't be shocked that teenagers are running as fast as they can from a God who is viewed as nothing but a sad, angry, disappointed disciplinarian.

The question is, then,

How can we point our children to the true, living, grace-filled gospel of Jesus Christ?

First, we must define what the gospel IS and what it is NOT.
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THE GOSPEL:

The gospel--in a nutshell--is that God, the creator of the universe, had a plan when He created everything.      The first man, Adam, was sinless until he ate of the forbidden tree. Every human since Adam has also sinned against God.

God set in place the beginning of His plan for mankind: a way of atonement, through a sacrificial system, to offer forgiveness for those who broke God's laws. A person would bring a lamb to the high priest to be slain for his sins. Atonement was found in the blood that was shed. (All of this is found in the first three books of the Bible.)

For thousands of years (as documented in the Old Testament), this sacrificial system remained in place. With a few exceptions, most believers in the true God were Jews. But all through the Old Testament, starting with the fall of man, we see the promise of a Messiah.

At the appointed time, God sent Jesus, His only Son (and equally God AND man) to this world, as He had promised. Jesus, the Messiah, became the once-for-all sacrifice that ended the need for the original sacrificial system. His blood was shed when He was crucified (He became the lamb) and He ended the need for a high priest. Believers can now come boldly to the throne of grace! 

Jesus died, was buried, and rose again, and seen by many before His return to heaven. He left us with a new promise, that He would one day come again and bring all believers to live with Him eternally.

Forgiveness of sins--for all people, of all nations-- is now found ONE way: through redeeming faith in Jesus Christ.

I love this passage:

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ; By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also; knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. BUT God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were YET sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath to through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement. Wherefore as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that ALL have sinned....For if  by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ. Therefore as by the offence of one judgment came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one the FREE GIFT came upon all men unto justification of LIFE. For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous. Moreover the law entered that the offence might abound, But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound: That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord. (Romans 5)"

The Gospel: Jesus died, was buried, and rose again the third day. Forgiveness of sins and eternal life in heaven is found only through faith in the gift that Jesus offers.

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NOT THE GOSPEL: 

The gospel is not found in church membership. Or baptism. Or communion. Or mass. Or good works. Or giving of your money. Or because your parents were Christians. Or by following the law.

There is NOTHING we can do to earn our salvation. 

It is a GIFT. It is not earned. We cannot do enough "good" things to earn our salvation. The work has already been done! Now, true saving faith will be known "by its works"....in other words, our faith is shown by our love and works for God, but only HE can do the work of redemption and forgiveness of sins.

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      The Gospel of Grace In Our Parenting

I'm sure by now you're wondering, Where is she going with all of this?  

Stay with me, cause this is where it gets good. :) These thoughts revolutionalized our parenting and revitalized our relationships with our children.

Many parents give their children a rule (law) to obtain, blame it on the Bible, punish every single infraction of that law, and teach the child to try even harder next time.

Why is this so against the gospel of grace?

Because without the gospel, they will never be more than moral hypocrites, full of righteous pride, yet completely empty inside.

 

You see, if we cannot work hard enough to please God, why are we teaching our children that they should?

 

We are giving them the law--"Work very hard and maybe you will eventually please God and your parents."--instead of the gospel of grace: There is nothing we can DO to earn God's approval. It is ONLY through His power that we can choose righteousness.

We do right because it shows our love for Him and for others, not because it earns His approval or makes Him "happy".

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Why is this so important?

Many children are raised in an atmosphere of perfectionism.

They never measure up to God or their parent's approval.

They spend their childhood frustrated that they are never "good enough"....and these feelings carry into adulthood, causing relationship and spiritual problems.

Perhaps this rings true for you. Maybe you remember all too well the feelings of inadequacy. If you were raised under a harsh, law-filled parenting style, you can vouch for what I'm trying to say. You know what it feels like to think that ADULTS can fail, but children must be perfect.You know the pain of not measuring high enough.

I believe part of the problem is that we make the mistake of teaching our children that they must succeed at being "good" in order to meet the approval of God and man.

The truth is, they will NEVER be truly good. Instead, they will spend their life failing, seeking forgiveness, and trying again. They will need to daily seek power and wisdom from the Holy Spirit, and even then, they will still fail.

The goal, then, is not perfection. It is a right relationship with both us AND God.

With this in mind, it is SO vitally important that we raise our little ones in an atmosphere of grace, second chances, forgiveness, and restoration.

We need to teach our children that they will always fall short of God's perfect standard but that HE finished the work of salvation at the cross, and that His love for us is not altered by our behavior. Our treatment of our children should mimic His.

God wants willing hearts, not perfect actions. We must focus on their hearts, not merely their behavior.

We cannot afford the high price of teaching them a false gospel---their very souls are at stake.

Thank you for sticking with me in this long post. :) My heart longs to offer encouragement to you on your parenting journey. Blessings!