My topic was one that, if you know me very well (or read my blog much!) was near and dear to my heart: Finding Joy in Motherhood. I wanted to share with you, my dear reader/friends, what I shared with the ladies at the conference. I hope it is a blessing to your heart!
I'm going to split my speaking notes into 6 parts in order to not have one post be too ridiculously long. (And I won't tell you that I ended up
Finding Joy in Motherhood
Introduction
Let me start
out by saying that I have seven children. Now most people wouldn’t look at me and
the bunch of children always accompanying me and question whether or not I’ve
ever struggled with infertility. But believe it or not, there was a time in my
life when doctors and modern medicine didn’t think I’d be able to have
children. Today I’d like to share with you how God took me through a very
painful time in my life, blessed me abundantly above that which I could EVER
ask or think, and taught me how to find true joy in motherhood.
I’d like to
start with giving you a brief testimony. For the sake of time, I’ll try to be REALLY brief! I can describe my
entire childhood in one sentence: I was raised in a conservative Christian home
as the oldest of six children. (You know, my husband says I can’t say anything
without giving a good dent in my 50,000 words a day, so don’t tell him that I
just put 18 years of my life into one sentence!) I met the love of my life, Brent,
at Bible College and after a whirlwind courtship, we were married. Both of us
loved children and couldn’t wait to start working on a family, but God has a
way of teaching us HIS will despite our well-laid plans and it ended up taking
us three long years before we were blessed with our firstborn daughter. During
that time of infertility, as we poured out our souls in longing before our
Lord, He began the process of preparing our hearts for what we couldn’t yet
see, but that HE knew was coming: our children. You see, much of the
Americanized attitude had infiltrated our hearts already. You know the
mentality: Wait as long as possible before having children, then have as few as
possible, spend their childhood as busy as you can so you don’t get “tied down”,
spend their youth wishing they were out of the house, then breathe a sigh of
relief when they’re finally grown and you can get your life “back to normal”. Have you heard the old saying, “Children
should be seen and not heard”? I think
many people feel that children should not be seen OR heard. The spirit of
abortion--that is, the prevailing thought that children are a commodity and not
a blessing, is as prevalent in our churches today as it is in the rest of our
society at large. During my infertility, after being told by two doctors and
one specialist that I probably would never have a baby on my own without
serious intervention, I was literally begging God for just one child, just one
chance at hearing the word “Mommy”, just one opportunity to feel the delicate
flutters of a baby kicking inside of my womb. And God had me in a place where I
could be taught. He had my undivided attention. Month after month, when I would
realize that once again I was not pregnant, as the tears would stream down my
face, I would turn to the God who loved me and my Bible. God had not forgotten
me---in reality, I think He had me exactly where He wanted me to be. I was
listening, and He began to peel back the layers and show me, through His word,
how He felt about children and motherhood. My husband and I promised God during
this time that we would welcome any children He would give us and that we would
never, ever forget the lessons He was teaching us.
Just when I
was at peace that I might never be a “Mommy” the traditional way, I found out I
was expecting our precious Eliana. Three precious, rambunctious, busy little
boys quickly followed her: Nathaniel, Noah, and Ethan. Our experience with
infertility had burdened us for adoption, so when our Ethan was 9 months old,
we applied to adopt for the first time from China. Over the next two years, God
added a total of three Chinese girls to our family through adoption. Gabriella
joined our family at 15 months old, Johanna at 14 years old, and our most
recent adoption was in September with Alyssia. She turned two 2 days after
arriving in the States.
I went from
an empty womb to a joyful mother of SEVEN in 9 years. Our youngest three
children are only 5 months apart, creating virtual triplets. For the past six
months, I’ve had THREE 2 year olds, a 10 year old, a 7 year old, a 5 year old,
and a newly adopted teenager who didn’t speak any English and had been in an
orphanage for her entire 14 years. To say life has been an adventure would be
an understatement! We’ve been dealing with special needs, attachment issues,
language and communication barriers, THREE toddlers and the challenges that
adopting a teenager out-of-birth-order brings. I’ve found the strength to
passionately embrace each and every parenting challenge presented to me by
remembering the lessons the Lord so sweetly taught me long ago during the first
few years of our marriage.
I don’t know
most of you. I don’t know your stories, your struggles and trials, nor the
season of life you’re currently experiencing. But today, I specifically want to
offer encouragement to young mothers with small children. Life can seem
monotonous when your days exist of changing stinky diapers, scraping macaroni
and cheese off the floor, attacking the laundry abyss, nursing babies or, in my
case, trying to manage to keep three 2 year olds from destroying everything I
own. Trust me, I know. Life can get boring when the major excitement of the day
is when Daddy pulls in the driveway because you can breathe a sigh of relief
knowing that you can finally talk to someone who knows how to start a sentence
with something besides “Mommy!” Life can
get downright overwhelming when you desperately want to do a good job at
motherhood but you feel like you’re swimming upstream against the influences of
the world.
Join me tomorrow as I continue this series with point #1, "View Children the Way GOD Views Them"......
I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteI agree.... I can't wait to read more either! I feel like I am sitting at your kitchen table with you having coffee and lemon bars, having a Bible study! Miss you VERY much dear friend. Thank you so much.... needed this..... Hugs and love! Chrissy
ReplyDeleteHI there~ I'm sort of a "lurker" on your blog.:) But, I love your blog, love your heart, and am really, really, really (did I say really) excited to read more tomorrow. I have 4 kiddos ages 6, 5, 3, 2. Many, many days I feel overwhelmed and sorta lonely (we don't live near family). I have noticed that I haven't been finding much joy in mothering and I so very badly want to. I truly do not want to wish away their childhood...but I find myself doing just that...sigh... SO, this is a very encouraging to me...I feel God has a message for me and my eyes and ears are WIDE open! Thanks for sharing your life with us. :)
ReplyDeleteMy season is very similar to yours. I am always encouraged when reading other's stories that are similar to mine. I was infertile for 14 years. We added 9 children in 6 years 10 months. My oldest is 8 and my youngest is 18 months. Five of our children are adopted, 3 have special needs and were adopted from Ukraine.
ReplyDelete