Another Family Picture....

I must admit I am blessed with a mother-in-law who loves to sew and is an accomplished seamstress. And while I enjoy sewing pretty things for my girls, my mother-in-law has a little  (okay, ALOT) more time than I have. She spoiled the girls and I with these lovely pink dresses for Easter.

Thanks, Mom. :)

Q & A, Part 2, Your Questions Answered

(If you're just joining us, scroll down or click HERE to read about the GAME we're playing, see the wonderful comments and questions from my readers AND to leave a comment of your own! The more comments, the more questions I'll answer!)


First, let me say that ya'll have given me SO many great questions! I think I'll be working my way through these for weeks, lol.

HOW DID YOU AFFORD SO MANY ADOPTIONS SO QUICKLY?

What a fabulous question! Let me start by saying that we are not wealthy---by any means! :) Since the birth of our first child, we have lived off of Brent's income alone. When we look at our income next to the cost of our three adoptions----well, the two columns just shouldn't line up!

But God is so good. Isn't He? :)

With Gabbey, our first adoption, we used all of our tax return for the beginning fees (HS, agency fees, etc). Then we used Brent's 401K for most of the rest of the fees. Her adoption ended up being far more expensive than the other two, in part because more people traveled, but mostly because we chose a cheaper agency the second time around. The $13,000 tax credit from Gabbeys' adoption and the $5,000 employer reimbursement per adoption (we recieved a total of $15,000) were then used towards Lyssie and Johanna's adoptions.

We did receive three grants and three loans (one loan from an adoption company and two loans from our parents) for the second two adoptions. Once we recieve our final tax refund (which, ahem, could be tomorrow or six months from now, depending on the IRS) we will have paid off EVERYTHING and be completely debt free again (with the exception of our 15 passenger van and our home). This is a huge blessing, because, while we certainly would be willing to make payments for years in order to bring our girls home, we have always strived to live as debt-free as possible.

I highly recommend researching ABBA FUND, LIFESONG , JSC FOUNDATION, SHOW HOPE, and A CHILD WAITS FOUNDATION if the Lord has laid adoption on your heart and you don't have 20 or 30 thousand dollars collecting dust in the bank. LOL. I personally know families that have received anywhere from $3,000 to $20,000 in grant monies from these organizations.

Aside from having a yard sale, one dear couple in our church giving us the money for a plane ticket, and my sister giving us a check, we did not recieve any money from our church, family, or friends. I do know many, many families who are able to raise much of the necessary money through these outlets, though. We did cut out many "extras" for the two years we were needing so much extra cash for our adoptions.

Which leads me to the next question.....

HOW DO YOU AFFORD  FAMILY VACATIONS?

Our family LOVES to go on vacations (or weekend trips, overnight get-aways, or day excursions). Basically, we love to pile in our van and GO! (We even have a family song we wrote about such trips....but I digress.)

Due to the high cost of the adoptions, we didn't take a true family vacation the past two years. (We did go to Family Camp last summer, but it was very reasonably priced AND we had booked it before we decided to adopt Johanna so the money was already spent at that point.)

My sweet hubby works in Business Sales. Which means he's using technology ALL THE TIME. Cell-phones, laptop, email. It's his life during the work week. So he plans time to unplug and spend quality time with our family.

As far as actually affording the vacations, well, maybe I can get Brent to write a post about this topic. Bartering, bargain-shopping, researching vacation spots, and getting the very best deals around are his specialty. I'll let him share more about that since he's the vacation planner and I'm the wash and then pack everything we own---and then some---into our van girl. :)

HAVE YOU EVER HAD FAMILY MEMBERS OPPOSE YOUR ADOPTIONS?

No.

Our extended famlies---even the ones who we might not be "intimately close" with---have all been supportive of our choice to adopt and our girls.

That being said, they did all know that we were really crazy about children and wanted a whole bunch. So I don't think our adoption decisions came as a big shock. :)

We have faced some negativity, but not from our family. Some people just feel the need to comment on your decisions or family size. While there is certainly wisdom in counsel (if everyone you know is saying DON'T, maybe they're right?), there will be naysayers in any major decision you make as a family.

I don't know how to say this gently, so I'm just going to say it: We don't ask permission of ANYONE  before making a biological baby, and we don't need their permission to adopt one, either. If a husband and wife have taken their family size/adoption choice before the LORD and HE has given them clear direction, then it doesn't matter what people think or say, does it? Obey God. :)

Family size is clearly a GOD/HUSBAND/WIFE decision.

IS THERE ANY REASON YOU'VE ADOPTED ALL GIRLS?

When we first started the adoption process in January of 2010, we had one girl and three precious rambunctious boys. :) Eliana had prayed for a sister for years. We obviously requested to be matched with a girl.

We reviewed about 10 files when we were ready to adopt the second time. Both boys and girls, with various special needs. I told the agency that we were hoping for a boy or girl a year or two OLDER than our two babies (who were not yet 2 at the time).

The last file we viewed was Alyssia. Our agency mis-read her information and told me she was almost 3 years old. Perfect in my mind! :) We started to fall in love and then we re-read through the fine print and realized she was another 2009 baby! I vividly remember sitting on the couch with Brent, gazing at Alyssia's picture, asking each other----can we really do THREE babies the same age?

Well, you all know what the answer was. She was ours. And OH MY we haven't regretted that decision for even a milisecond. (Okay, so there have been days like THIS ONE where I thought the virtual toddlers were going to get the better of me. :))

Johanna came about very unexpectedly, and her story is told in part HERE.

So there is no partiality for girls in our home....it's just worked out that we've adopted three of them. If we are blessed to be able to adopt again, we will more than likely bring home a boy (or two!). :)


Enough for tonight, friends. I'm getting tired. :) But keep the questions coming and I'll do my very best to answer them to the best of my ability. And thanks for reading and sharing in our story.

Q & A, Part 1: Your Questions Answered

Wow. We're already over 30 comments in THIS POST. It's been so much fun getting to know my readers better!

I promised I'd answer at least ONE question for every 10 comments---and ya'll haven't disappointed me! Some of the questions will require their own individual post, so I'll start with some of the "shorter" answers.

DO YOU MENU PLAN?

Yes and no. :) I plan for what meals I'm going to make each week. But I don't pick which day I'm going to make each meal. My days are often unpredictable right now, so I pick which meal fits best with how our day is going. I do plan for an easy dinner on church days and Thursday (violin lessons).

ARE YOU PLANNING ANY MORE ADDITIONS?

Great question. :)

Definitely YES! We love children and would always welcome more.

Right now, we are praying that the Lord will bless us with another biological baby. Our children pray more for a baby brother/sister than anything else! :)

Regardless of whether we are blessed in that way or not, we want to adopt again. Our hearts will always be in China, but we're actually hoping to bring home one or two boys from Africa.

Bonding as a family is going well, but we need some time in-between adoptions, to allow our children time to adjust, so we're not beginning another adoption just yet.

IF YOU HAVE AN EASILY DISTRACTED CHILD, HOW DO YOU KEEP HIS/HER ATTENTION ON SCHOOLWORK-HOW DO YOU MOTIVATE A CHILD WHO HASN'T FOUND THEIR INNER MOTIVATION YET?

Be creative. Not every child learns the same way or enjoys the same curriculum. Find what works for your child.

Don't require unnecessary busywork. Enough said. :)

Do school at their optimal learning time. For some children, this is mid-morning, for others, it is mid-afternoon.

Do schoolwork in short, intense bursts. Nathaniel (7) is motivated to do more when he knows he can go play in 30 minutes.

Reward small accomplishments. I keep a bag of small candy (jelly beans, skittles, or m&m's) for school rewards. The younger children receive one piece of candy for each page completed. This visual reminder and tangible reward have motivated even my most reluctant learners.

Feed them brain food, not junk. Pop-tarts don't feed your child's brain like healthier foods do. I find a high-protein snack (we like almonds, peanuts, cheese, or yogurt with fruit and granola) in the middle of school helps our children focus better and longer.

Be flexible. One of the greatest advantages to homeschooling is that if the child isn't "getting it", you can come back to it later.

Remember, you're the boss. :) After you've been creative, cut out the unnecessary busywork, fed their brains, and rewarded their accomplishments---sometimes they just have to do the work whether they like it or not. Evaluate whether the reluctant learner is immature or rebellious. One needs grace and TIME, the other needs a firm authority that says "You must do your work because Mommy told you to do it." :)

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That's all I have time for this morning. Keep the comments and questions coming, and I'll do my best to answer them all.

Remember, I'll answer at least ONE question for every 10 comments!

Game Time!!!!

I need your help.

You know, YOU, my readers.

While I don't know who all of you are, I do know how many hits I'm getting. Alot more than the comments I get.

Of course, alot of you don't take the time to comment. Or maybe you disagree with a post. Or maybe my writing just plain stinks sometimes. I'm good with that.

But just this once, will you come out of hiding, post a comment, and play along?

JUST THIS ONCE?

You can go back into hiding after today, if you like. :)

Okay. I have 3 questions. That's right, only THREE!

1. What brought you to my blog? (link, google, FB, etc)
2. What do you most enjoy reading about on my blog? (adoption, parenting, pictures, toddler stuff, etc) Be as specific if you can!
3. What is one thing you'd like to know about me or my family? Here's your chance to ask anything you're curious to know about the Bergey Bunch!

You can introduce yourself---I'd love that!---or just answer the questions. Your choice.

Here's how the game works---every time I get TEN answers to these questions, I'll blog an answer to one (or more!) of your questions. So, the more people who post comments, the more blog posts you'll see from me this week. :)

I would SO love to meet the faithful readers who take time out of their busy lives to read my ramblings and about our family. I'm also looking to see exactly what people are coming here for, so I can spend my time more wisely in blogging.

Lastly, I just think it will be FUN!

Ready to play?

A Tale of Two Daughters

ONCE UPON A TIME......

There were two daughters.

One had long, blonde curls, a nurturing spirit, and a heart for Jesus.

The other had amazingly thick, black hair, a zest for life, and a free spirit.

The younger was once the eldest, displaced by the adoption of the now-older daughter.

Eliana (now 10) has spent the past few months maturing. Growing up fast. Becoming a beautiful young lady. Taking on more and more responsibility with a joyful heart. Making her parents so proud.

Johanna (now 14) is determined to never grow up and is fighting hard against maturity. Convincing her that being a grown-up is FUN is so, so difficult. In her mind, growing up equals leaving Mommy and she literally wants to stay with Mommy FOREVER.

Often people assume that parenting our virtual-triplet-toddlers is overwhelming. And it certainly can be.

But parenting a toddler in a teen-ager's body is much, much more overwhelming.

Overall, things have gone amazingly well with Johanna. She hasn't exposed our children to anything we haven't approved of (except a strong temper, lol), she loves being a part of our family, and she IS learning many, many things.

Getting her to desire maturity is proving to be more difficult than anything, though.

We have two lovely daughters.

One is growing up overnight, right in front of our eyes.

And one is dragging her feet. :)

Please join us in praying for HEAVENLY WISDOM as we travel down this uncharted path. I will admit, I'm having a hard time figuring out the best ways to teach our girl what she needs to know.

At the same time, I  KNOW the Lord is writing a story, a "tale" if you will.

A tale of our two daughters.

And we, the parents of these precious girls, are the tools in the hand of the Author of THEIR story.

May He give us the wisdom to know how to teach them, the strength to act on that wisdom, and the diligence to perservere when the going gets tough!

Blog changes

I've been working behind-the-scenes on my blog layout.

I confess: I know NOTHING um, very little about blog design. :)

Trial and error are my trusty tools, lol.

Please be patient if you come here and everything is out of place for a couple of days!

Orphans and Mother's Day

The past two weeks have been C-R-A-Z-Y for the Bergey Bunch.

Brent, Alyssia and I flew to CA last week for an amazing Orphan Conference (Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit VIII). 2,500 Christians united for the cause of the fatherless---all I can say is WOW.

We came home inspired, motivated, humbled, encouraged, hopeful, and convicted. To do more. So much more.

163 million orphans thought to be in the world today---What is the church doing to fulfill our responsibility to eradicate the orphan crisis, placing the children in loving families (or facilities, if absolutely necessary) where they will come into daily contact with the GOSPEL???

God, help us to SEE the need, RECOGNIZE our responsibility to help, and step out by FAITH in whatever areas HE reveals to us.

Today is Mother's Day. I celebrated with hugs, kisses, and "You're the bestest Mommy in the whole wide world!" declarations from my seven children. I'm sure most of you did, too.

But in every quiet moment of today, I ached way down deep in my soul for the millions upon millions of children who have no mother to hug and kiss them. For the children in Africa who died today from intense hunger. For the children in Sudan who were eaten alive by hyenas today after falling out of the tree they found to sleep in last night. For the teeenagers in Bulgaria who never grew past the size of an infant and spent today in the confines of their crib because of lack of nutrition and the most basic need, a loving human touch. For the children in Eastern Europe who got transferred to a mental institution (to spend their lives with the sick, mentally ill ADULTS) today, simply because they weren't adopted before they turned 5. For the little girls who were sold into prostitution at the age of 9 and whose bodies were used and abused 10 to 20 times JUST TODAY in Thailand. For the babies in America who got their limbs literally RIPPED from their tiny little bodies by medical professionals today, because somebody somewhere declared their life unwanted.

It may be Mother's Day 2012, but there's an orphan crisis in the world today.

Where is God in all of these atrocities?

He's waiting.

For His people to rise up, answer His call to care for the fatherless, and to get off their Sunday morning pew  and actively spread His love to a lost world! For us to stop saying "What can we DO about it?" and GO DO SOMETHING.

He knows our YES in on the table.

We will hold nothing back.

Our personal family motto has long been summed up in these two words: NO REGRETS.

We decided a long time ago that we did not want to look back on our lives someday and see a trail of regrets. The "American Dream" holds no claim to our hearts---we're just pilgrims on a journey, following the King of Kings!

And we want NO REGRETS.

If He wants us to move to a foreign land to work with orphans, we're willing to GO. If He wants us to raise money so others can more easily fund their adoptions, we're willing to STAY. If He wants us to adopt more children from hard places, we're willing to GROW.

But we're no longer satisfied with just keeping the status quo. God has stirred a fire in our hearts to reach the most needy, vulnerable, abused, over-looked, neglected, forgotten of the lost, and we will follow Him straight out of our comfort zone (He's done it before, remember?) without a moment's hesitation.