Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Finding Joy in Motherhood, Part 4: Love Your Children the Way GOD Loves You

Love your children the way God loves you.

“For God so loved the world that He GAVE…..”

“We love him because he first loved us….”

“Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us…..”

God loves you.

Those three simple words have changed the lives of countless millions. You see, with God, there’s no “because”. God doesn’t love us because we’ve earned it or because we deserve it. He just LOVES us! The entire plan of redemption is built on God’s LOVE.

We can find true joy in motherhood, not only by viewing your children the way GOD views them, and embracing motherhood as your full-time ministry, but also by loving your children the way God loves you.

Let me give you my definition of LOVE, based on what the Lord has shown me in my own life:

LOVE is the conscious choice of my will to act in the best interest of someone else, regardless of whether they deserve it or not, and without any thought of what I might gain in return.

Last year, we adopted a 14 year old orphan from China. Unlike giving birth to a baby, loving an older child as your own may not come as “naturally” to some. People asked us before and after her adoption if it was harder to love her and the answer is honestly NO.

You see, true love isn’t based simply on emotion. Emotions come and go. True love is based on commitment and a choice to act in the best interest of someone else. It was very obviously in Johanna’s best interest to be raised in a loving family, and we are so thankful that plenty of positive emotions have followed our decision to adopt her, but ladies, it isn’t about emotions! It’s about choosing to love, even when it’s really, really hard at times.

Perhaps you’re blessed with a very stubborn little one. Perhaps you have a teenager working through a rebellious time. Maybe you’re struggling under the pressures of life and you feel ready to explode if one more child tugs at your leg and says, “Mommy!”

Dear mothers, here’s where we can overcome and find true joy----CHOOSE to love, even when you don’t "feel" it.

Do the next “right” thing, whatever it may be.

Meet their needs, even when your own feel insurmountable.

Dig down deep, and love because it’s what God commands of us.

Do you want to know the best part of choosing to love, even when it’s hard? It’s amazing really.

Listen carefully, or you might miss it.


Really, it’s true! This can be applied to all areas of life, not just motherhood.

When you choose to love your husband, meeting his needs whether he deserves it or not, with no thought of what you might gain in return, you will start FEELING more love for him! When you choose to love your (insert whoever you’re having problems with, your friend, co-worker, sibling, in-laws, etc) meeting THEIR needs, whether they deserve it or not, with no thought of what you might gain in return, you will start FEELING more love for them.

God says to DO what’s right, not to FEEL what’s right.

Choose to love your children with the same beautiful, sacrificial love God has shown to you and you will find more joy in motherhood.

(Stay tuned for Part 5: Parent Your Children With Grace)


  1. Curt and I recently heard a speaker say, "It's not about your's about Christ! Look past that spouse and honor or respect Christ! Don't let your spouse get in the way of doing what you are commanded to do!"

    Every time I get discouraged, I try and remember to look past (Fill in the blank) and keep the focus on Christ! : Thanks for your post!

  2. I remember Pastor Calvert (Fairfax, VA) saying, "Obey first, then comes the love". It's so true. We've tried to teach Seth that love is an action word not an emotion. There are LOTS of time I don't 'want' to love someone, but I have to choose to because that is what God expects of me. After a while, the love fills in where the obedience was. :)

  3. I have often found that I can't love the way you have described without the Grace God gives to do so. The impossible becomes possible only through grace. It is less my love for my children and more God's love through me for my children!

    Wonderful blog - am enjoying it very much.
    ~Jennie Mae

  4. This is so true and inspiring! It is amazing how much loving attitudes or actions can re-set an entire situation. Thank you for this!


I welcome any and all comments as long as they are Christ-honoring. Please let me know what you think!