A Day in the Life of the Bergey Bunch

I'm thoroughly enjoying the 30 Days of Grace Parenting Tips series.  From the feedback I'm receiving, I think many of you are enjoying it as well. 

But I thought a little break might be fun, especially since I haven't been adding pictures to most of the posts, and let's face it---blogs without pictures get.boring.fast. Right? 

Don't you enjoy getting a peak into other families' daily lives? It's like sitting down to tea with a new friend-- through cyber-space!

This post is for those of you who have ever wondered what a typical day looks like in our house--- or for those of you who just enjoy pictures. (Cause there is a TON of pictures in this post.) 

I will warn you, however. I am not a professional photographer. 

All those cute pictures on my blog? My amazing sister took them. She's the family photographer. Not me. :)

These pictures are just quickly-captured-candid-moments of 

A Day In The Life Of The Bergey Bunch

FYI: None of this was staged. As a matter of fact, I didn't even plan this in advance. I did my best not to make it fake. (as evidenced by my make-up-less face. lol) Anyone can stage photographs to make their lives look perfect. :)

I get up, do my morning routine, and start waking children up. As soon as the youngest children are awake and pottied, they go to their highchairs to play until breakfast.

Nathaniel starts the morning with sorting laundry. Normally we do all of our laundry on Tuesdays and Fridays, but we spent Tuesday afternoon with my sister so we were a little behind. 

Wednesday morning is bath morning, so no one gets dressed just yet. :) 

The girls make their bed, Johanna fills the water cups, Ellie helps me fill the plates, and everyone heads to the table for breakfast. 

 On the menu for today---French Toast sticks, strawberries, and yogurt with granola on top.

 

Here's what my kitchen looked like during breakfast. :) 

The other rooms (besides the boys bedroom, I think) were pretty clean, though. 

Breakfast over, Johanna and Eliana head to the shower. Nathaniel starts his schoolwork and the four youngest stay at the kitchen table with toys and puzzles. (I keep them close when I need to clean---otherwise, they are making messes as fast as I'm cleaning them up!) I get to work on the kitchen, folding a load of laundry, and helping Nathaniel with his work as needed.

A certain little munchkin (Ethan, 3) tries to convince me he needs to get out of his chair while I'm folding laundry. Even though he IS adorable, the answer was still no. :)

Ahhh. A clean kitchen. I don't function very well in a messy kitchen. With 7 children, however, it gets messy several times a day and I'm learning to just go with the flow. Some days it's easier for me than others. :)

Johanna and Eliana finish their showers, do their hair, and start their school. 

 The youngest four (and Nathaniel, once he's done on break) watch a 20 minute movie. This gives me the time I need to teach a math lesson to the older girls and get them working on their school for the day.

School gets done in all rooms of our house. Here Johanna is reading on her bed. (She's reading English at a second/third grade level now and her math is up to sixth grade! So proud of her.)

I finish up with the girls, send them off to work, and make a nice cup of coffee for myself. :)

Wow. Nothing like keeping it real. I didn't take a shower because I it was bath day and I wanted to run on the treadmill later....so here's the un-showered all natural Mommy look. LOL

The movie ends all too quickly and my quick break is over. My second cup of coffee gets cold as I forget about it and get to work on bath-time. 

I send the three-year-olds to the bathroom to undress. This is quite interesting to watch as they wiggle their little bodies and work all of their clothing off. (Yes, they are in their clothes from the day before. I am that kind of Mommy.) 

They will SO kill me for this picture later. Lucky for me, they're too young to care now and I think they are the.cutest.thing.ever. 

Everyone has to go potty before they get in the tub, because Mommy doesn't like putting her hands in PEE WATER. (Yes, they think it is funny to potty in the tub. I don't. Think it's funny, I mean. Well, I don't potty in the tub, either. Okay, I better just stop now.)

While the babies take a long bath (I think they played for about an hour!), we take turns watching them.

Johanna, Eliana, and Nathaniel continue their schoolwork, and Noah plays alone in his room.

Nathaniel takes a turn watching the babies play, while I tend to Johanna. She was disappointed about an upcoming event that she doesn't get to attend, and had a nice long crying session about it. It took me awhile to get her regrouped and realizing that I was not going to change my mind. 

Okay, back to bath-time. I lay out all three outfits on my bed, wash up the little ones, and call the older girls to help. We each dress one child, making it much quicker than if I was doing it alone!

Next up, hair time. I dry and "style" each child's hair. I keep all three with me in the bathroom so I know what they're up to. :)

 

A math question interrupts the hair party in the bathroom. :)

Johanna and Nathaniel find a quiet place to work on more schoolwork.

Everyone enjoys a snack of almonds.

 

The babies settle in for some fight over the same green spoon play time. (What? You thought my children never fought over toys? They're CHILDREN, not angels. :))

I solve the green spoon problem, switch over the laundry and start getting lunch ready.

Eliana works on a story she's writing while Johanna folds the next load of laundry.

 The youngest five go outside for a few minutes while we get lunch on the table. Turns out, it's a rather warm day and they come in with all kinds of plans for the afternoon play-time.

Here is how I prepare most meals. I set out seven plates, fill them while I'm cooking, and take them to the table when it's time to eat. Johanna always fills the cups and Eliana is in charge of bibs for the babies.

Lunch menu: Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches, chips, bananas, and graham crackers for a treat.

Only six cups today, because one child "lost their sweets" for a week. (One of our family consequences.)

After lunch, each child has a job to do. The littlest ones stay at the table again while we clean up from lunch.
Alyssia and Gabriella LOVE to color! They beg to "coloring".

After jobs are done, I take a break and sit down on the computer for a half hour while everyone heads outside to play. They have so much fun playing spy and building with ropes and sticks.

Next on the schedule is nap-time. I call the youngest five into the house, set up Nathaniel and Noah (8 and 6) on the Wii and get the babies ready for their nap (potty, drink, diaper for the one that might wet her bed, etc). Normally, the older girls will read or play in their room during this time, but because the weather is so warm, they stay outside.

 

I put the babies down for a nap in the same room, so the other rooms are freed up for the afternoon.

 They ask me for "a story, Momma!" so I tell them Goldilocks and The Three Bears (complete with silly voices, which they LOVE). I turn off the light, turn on the fan, close the curtains, and sit down in the quiet room. Ethan needs help settling down, so I rock him on his bed for a couple of minutes. Then he whispers, "Mommy, I think I'll be more comfortable if I lay down." so I lay him down. They're all asleep soon.

(I took the pictures of them sleeping with my flash, so it looks bright in the room, but it's actually very dark!)

I LOVE this picture of Gabbey and her baby. She snuggles this baby every time she falls asleep....

It's now 2:30 in the afternoon. I turn off the Wii and send the boys outside to play with the girls, change my clothes and hop on the treadmill. Thirty-five minutes, 2.5 miles, and one sweaty mess later, I'm ready for a hot shower. NO, I didn't have the girls take pictures of me during this time. Sorry, but a girl's gotta have some dignity. :)

I call Johanna and Eliana inside. Johanna helps me fold the last of the laundry and we are both happy it is done until Friday. 

Eliana practices her violin.

Nathaniel comes inside and gets his violin out. We work on some music together.

The babies wake up, go potty, snuggle Mommy for awhile on the couch, and get a small snack. They want to play outside, so off they go, with their buckets and a pile of rocks.  

I need to peel potatoes for dinner, so I put Noah next to me to work on his reading flashcards.

 Johanna works on her penmanship. (She and Eliana are trying to copy the entire book of Matthew in cursive.) Noah works on his seatwork.

 The laundry pile, ready to be put away!

We have church on Wednesday evenings, so I fix everyone's hair, lay out the Bibles, quiet books, and music for church, prepare dinner, change Gabbey's clothes (since she got dirty somehow), help Nathaniel and Noah get ready for church, and put everyone's shoes on before they sit down to eat dinner.

Eliana and Johanna fix the plates and drinks for everyone's dinner.

On the menu: Leftover ham from Sunday's lunch, mashed potatoes, green beans and pineapple for dessert.

AND this is where the pictures end, although the day wasn't quite over yet. It just got too busy for me to grab the camera. :)

Brent arrived home. We finished dinner, scrambled to clean up the kitchen, loaded everyone (and all the "gear") into the van, and headed to church. Brent stopped at WaWa and got me a coffee----heaven!----and we listened to music the whole (long) hour drive to church. :)

Stayed after at church to fellowship while the children played with their friends, then started the (long) trip home. Brent and I tucked the very tired children into bed at 10 pm, sat on the couch for a few minutes, and dragged our own tired bodies to bed at 10:45.

There you have it. A Day In The Life Of The Bergey Bunch. Not very exciting, was it? Nevertheless, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into years, years turn into a lifetime of ordinary days. So I am thankful for these boring, sometimes monotonous days. They are the makings of a lifetime!

Day 12: Parent, The Teacher, Part 2

(Click HERE to read Part 1 or catch up on the rest of the Grace Parenting Series.)

Last time we talked about why and when we should teach our children.

Today we are going to talk about the practical side of teaching, essentially the what and how we should teach our children.

Parents need to be teaching their children in three areas:

1. Educationally 

It comes naturally for most parents to begin educating their children.

Cows say "moo". Cars go fast. Cake is for eating and dirt is not. Germs make us sick. Spiders bite. Vegetables are good for you.

You get the point. :)

Sometimes as children age, though, parents lose the ability to effectively educate them.

Perhaps it is because of the mindset that it is someone else's job to educate our children. 

(Don't write me off now, because you think I'm just talking about homeschooling. 'Cause I'm not.)

I'm talking about accepting parental responsibility for our children's world view.

And this can be done no matter what "school choice" you choose for your family.

Do you know what your child knows?

Are you filling their world with fairy-tale fluff---monsters hide under beds, fairies take teeth, rabbits bring eggs, frogs turn into princes, magic happens at midnight, witches are friendly, princesses live happily-ever-after, and an old man in a red suit brings all the presents on December 24th---because it's easier than teaching them the truth?

Or are you passionately, on purpose, truthfully educating your children about the world around them and the GOD who made it?

Like any other parenting tool in our box, it takes time to educate our children.

We have to daily choose to teach them, letting it become an effortless part of life.

When you're at the park with your children, you can say, "Wow, you can really run fast! Do you know what the fastest land animal is? It's a cheetah! They can run up to 70 miles an hour, but then they get really tired and need a rest. Where do cheetahs live? That's right---Africa! Africa is a continent. It's one of 7 continents...." and on and on it goes.

When you're driving down the road, you can say, "What's the speed limit on this road? Why does Mommy have to go the speed limit? But what if there are no policemen around? Should Mommy still obey? Yes, Mommy should obey the laws because the laws are there to protect us. What about you---when Mommy can't see you, should you obey?"

When you're bathing your small child, you can say, "Your body is growing and changing every day. God made your body with private places that no one except parents and doctors may look at. If someone ever tries to see your private places, you tell Mommy right away! Say 'NO, that's private!" Continue this gentle, OPEN teaching as your child enters school-age and adolescence. YOU be the one to teach them about their bodies and the changes of puberty, the treasures of marriage, and the importance of staying pure. Don't leave these topics for other adults or peers to teach to your children---Be the teacher yourself!

(For many parents, these topics feel awkward to teach, and the temptation is strong to either avoid the topic or abdicate the teaching responsibility.I can't tell you how many women I've talked to whose parents never taught them anything personal or who are terrified to discuss anything intimate with their own children.)

Who is more invested in your children than YOU are? 

Whose world-view do you want your children embracing?

Who do you want your teenagers talking to when they face the challenges of adolescence? 

If YOU are not their primary teacher, their best friend, and their confidante when they are small, they will not rely on you to help them solve their problems when they are older.

We need to be daily, with purpose, teach our educational world-view to our children.  

2. Emotionally

Parents need to be teaching their children about their emotions and how to handle them.

Some of you just tuned me right out, didn't you? :)

I understand. I used to think teaching children about emotions was "psycho-babble", too. (I think Daddies struggle with this even more than Mommas.)

The Lord slowly worked on my proud heart, teaching me that God created each of us with a full range of emotions....including children...and I was foolish to expect more "perfection" out of my children than I could achieve myself.

Every child (and adult!) feels happy, sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, jealous, irritable, and just plain out-of-sorts at times.

It is the parents job to teach their children about their emotions and guide them in learning how to control them.

Okay, so how does this look in real day-to-day life?

With little ones (under 5 or so) it may look like scripting: "Gabbey, are you sad because you can't find your baby doll? Yes? Okay, let's find it together." (instead of, "Stop crying and go play!")

Don't just "react"---TEACH. 

It might sound like, "Noah, when the babies climb on your bed, you get angry because you don't want them throwing your stuffed animals. Sometimes Mommy feels angry too! But WE cannot yell or hit people when we feel angry. Would you want a grown-up to hit you when you were bothering them? No. We need to use our nice words and get help when we feel angry. We must still be kind, even when we feel angry." (instead of, "You just hit your brother! You are IN TROUBLE now!"

Or, "Ethan, are you frustrated because that block tower keeps falling down? Mommy will show you a better way to build it." (Scripting his emotions and offering help instead of saying, "Stop whining right now!")

With older children (school-age and up), we do more in-depth teaching about feelings and emotions. We strive to get to the root of their behavior struggles by dealing with the emotions behind them.

I know. I know. You're saying, "Wait a minute! Children should obey just because. I don't care what their 'feelings' are."

Okay. SO, think back to the last time you snapped angrily at your spouse or a friend. Or the last time you overreacted in disciplining your child. Was there a deeper reason behind the sin? Were you "under a lot of stress right now" or dealing with lack of sleep, or angry about something else altogether that just came out on the wrong person at the wrong time? Was it related to your monthly hormonal shift? Or did your husband just lose his job and you have no idea how you're going to pay the bills?

Have you ever apologized to someone (sincerely) and still given them the reason behind your behavior? "Honey, I'm so sorry I reacted wrongly to you. I've had a headache all day, I missed lunch, and I just found out my parents are getting divorced."

You see, we don't PLAN wrong behavior. It comes from the wellspring of our heart. If our heart is struggling with something, it will often play out in wrong actions.

So often, frustrations are building in our child's mind and heart, feelings they are not fully equipped to handle with maturity, so they end up acting out before we see the problem is there. This is when a long Mommy/child or Daddy/child talk is good. Take the child aside privately, gently probe as to the "why" of the behavior, empathize with the child ("Sweetheart, Mommy has struggled with that sin, too!"), then begin the teaching process. Share Scriptural principles for overcoming that particular sin, give personal illustrations from your own life, and empower them with tools to "fight" the wrong behavior the next time. ("Next time you're feeling jealous of your sister, come talk to Mommy about it. I will help you." etc)

Consequences for wrong behavior are sometimes appropriate, and often a helpful part of the teaching and training of our children.

BUT if all we do is hand out consequences and fail to teach and equip our children to process and understand the emotions behind them, we are giving our children only ONE life skill:  Don't get caught or you'll get in trouble.

True obedience flows from a right heart, and a right heart is a continual work-in-action.

For both children AND adults!

No child is going to reach perfection---they WILL continue to sin their entire life. They will get frustrated, angry, jealous, sad, happy, etc forever.

Our job is to teach our children what their emotions are, give them tools to properly handle them, and show them what to do when they miserably fail.

Tomorrow we'll look at the last--and most important!---aspect of teaching our children: We need to be teaching our children Scripturally.