Friday, September 21, 2012

Alyssia: The Difference a Year Makes......

One year ago in China, a heartbroken foster mama and daddy said good-bye to a spunky little sparkly eyed baby. The baby they'd found 2 years before, abandoned as a tiny newborn. The baby who had slept in their bed, been comforted by their love, and charmed her way into their hearts.
They handed the beautiful baby girl over to her new daddy.

One year ago, a heartbroken little girl had her world turned topsy-turvy overnight. While she gained her "forever family", in the process she lost everything she'd ever known. The foster parents encouraged her to love your new American "baba" (daddy) but she didn't desire a replacement.

In desparation, she clung to the precious few items she came with: her clothes, her snack cup, her water bottle, and her sparkly red princess shoes. She spent hours crying in frustration that she couldn't hold all of her special things at once.

She slept fitfully, her nights filled with terror as she would awake and realize that the new daddy was still here and her foster mama was not. She would pick up her things and head for the hotel door, hoping this nightmare would be over soon.

The new daddy had prayed and waited for the moment he could hold his new baby girl in his arms---but naturally, she wasn't as excited as he was. Back home in America, the new mommy was clinging to every skype call, every email, every picture that was contact with her precious new daughter. Her mommy's heart ached to hold and comfort her during this difficult time.
Slowly, the baby girl began to accept her kind new daddy. They connected over food, over bath-time, over long walks and a soft new pink blankie.

  Just when the new normal was beginning to be predictable, the new daddy took the baby girl on a very, very long airplane ride......
which brought her to the arms of a new mommy. (and six fun new playmates!)
Having experienced the "hand-off'" once, baby girl was having none of it this time around.
She seemed convinced that if she liked the new mommy, even a tiny bit, the new daddy would leave and she would be abandoned yet again. So she clung tightly to new daddy and pushed, fought, screamed and sobbed when new mommy came near.
For a very long time... 

Even on "fun" days--like her 2nd birthday, the tears were still there. Especially if new daddy wasn't sitting VERY close by.

Each day the new daddy would peel the little arms off of his legs in order to leave for work.....and each evening, sweet baby girl would run to the new daddy and not let go of him all evening.

The new mommy tried very hard but it still took a long time for the sparkly little girl to start to shine through again.....
Until, finally, one day the new mommy could touch new baby without being smacked in the face....
Until one day, new baby would even SMILE with new mommy in the same room.

Until one day, new baby felt completely comfortable with her entire new family and the tears eased.....the fears subsided.......the night sweats went away......the nightmares and screaming were gone.

 And the new mommy was SO SO happy to finally be able to LOVE and be loved by new baby.

Welcome to the Bergey Bunch, Alyssia. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to love your sweet little self. This year has brought many changes for us and for you, but you are such a brave girl. Your spirit is gentle, kind, and so very precious to each one of us.

Never forget for a minute: You are so, so loved.

Happy 1 year Gotcha Day, Alyssia! 


  1. Oh, this just brings so many tears. I remember so clearly your posts one year ago, and your requests for prayer. But, God brought you through....praising HIM! we had a similiar situation, Tahlia didnt want anything to do with daddy, though. It took a good 6 months for her to "want" him. I can't imagine the ache, but I know the feeling of celebration when you finally have their hearts! Oh happy day!Your family is beautiful!

  2. Oh My, God Bless your sweet girl! So thankful she is doing well now!!

  3. Wow, what an awesome story! Love it! :)

  4. So sweet - I too remember reading your posts last year at this time and how challenging the transition was. It is so heartwarming to see her smiling face now.

    Since you have posted about Alyssia's 1 year anniversary with you, that must mean that Johanna has been with you a year also - how is she doing? Would love to hear about her!

  5. That was a great story! Do you happen to know how the foster family is doing? God bless their hearts.


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