I was getting nowhere with her. I almost called Helen (our guide) but decided to wait until she got here.
We were supposed to go to Johanna's medical exam, but when I explained how sad and withdrawn Johanna had been all morning, Helen said, "We can wait on the medical. Let's talk now." I love this girl!!!
It took about 1/2 an hour of coaxing before Johanna broke and started to talk and cry. Little tears just streamed down her face. Remember the "teacher" she called the other night? I assumed it was her teacher at school, but it is actually a nanny at the orphanage whom she is close with! I had no idea. Johanna was missing her nanny, and her friends at the orphanage.
I immediately encouraged her to call her nanny. She did, and cried a little on the phone, then perked up some when she hung up.
We showed Helen the pictures on my blog from the visit to Zhongshan oprhanage, and Johanna showed us the friends she was missing the most.
Vicki---she pointed to your little girl and said this was the friend she missed the most! What sweet times they must have shared, late at night, bunkmates and dear friends. I reassured her over and over, that I KNOW her little friends' parents-to-be, that they are very nice, and that we will let the girls stay in touch.
I think it helped even more when she realized that all but one of her closest friends are being adopted soon. She would have been left alone in the orphanage, and I don't really think she wants to go back there.
She does, obviously, miss the only life she's ever known. I told her it's okay to be sad, that Mommy expects her to be sad for awhile, and then Helen told her to "Cry it all out" so she would feel better.
I'm still seeing some sadness here-and-there, but overall, she's doing better. I completely expect it to take a long time for her to adjust, and I'm SO very proud of how brave she is being!
I forgot to share pictures from her birthday party Thursday evening. I have been blessed to join a couple of other "solo" parents for dinner every evening. Kathy just adopted Alivia, an ADORABLE 3 year old, and Keith adopted 13 year old Emma. We hoped the older girls might find some comfort in each other, and sure enough, last night they giggled and talked all throughout dinner. :) I found it most amusing when they started whispering, since we couldn't understand them if they were SHOUTING! LOL
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| Keith and Kathy, with sweet Alivia in the foreground |
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| Emma, who comes out of her shell more and more each day! |
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| Keith also brough his son Dante along |
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| It's been SUCH a blessing have another mom to talk to, and Alivia reminds me of our Alyssia (adopting her this fall!!!) |
Thank you for sharing, Selina! Prayer does work. And prayer heals. I am proud of Johanna too! And i am proud she allowed herself to be vulnerable with you and cry.
ReplyDeleteSelina, what a comfort it must have been for Johanna to learn that most of her friends were being adopted too! What a blessing that you had so many photos of her friends for her to see and show you exactly who she was missing. I'm sure she must have appreciated your support and approval during this time of grief. What a brave young lady, so proud of her.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to worry you, but our daughter's friend had a "grandma" at the orphanage that she was especially close to as well as some nannies and she called them often after her mother arrived in China. They would calm her down sometimes on the phone, but often they would lie to her and tell her that she could return to China and that they would come and visit her in the U.S. So it might be a good idea to ask Helen if she can have a talk with Johanna alone and make sure that she hasn't been temporarily reassured only to be heartbroken and angry later.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Ruby
Selina, we will sure to keep in touch through the years not only for the girls but for each other too! Love you! Vicki
ReplyDeleteSelina, I've been following your blog since I saw postings on RQ of your trip, and I'm so thrilled that things are (overall) going well, and that you are seeing progress with Johanna. just wanted to let you know that it's not just Christians praying for you, your daughter, and your family. My husband, who happens to be Jewish, is praying as well. God bless, Mary
ReplyDelete