tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post8042178845641771468..comments2024-02-26T22:46:12.968-08:00Comments on THE BERGEY BUNCH: Grieving....Selinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03876075549369142429noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-27008293598000355112011-10-08T13:37:28.906-07:002011-10-08T13:37:28.906-07:00Praying for a smooth transition! What a nightmare ...Praying for a smooth transition! What a nightmare so far...Full Time Advocatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06168250509252727359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-8201201107603099942011-09-16T13:00:30.098-07:002011-09-16T13:00:30.098-07:00This would be such an ideal gotcha week if it wasn...This would be such an ideal gotcha week if it wasn't for the language barrier so that Brent could explain to them a plausible plan, like nights with him and a meal with them, and not more. He has definitely made the most of the situation. I'm so glad that he is so experienced with parenting and adopting so that he can hold his ground.<br /><br />It will be so nice when you are all together!<br /><br />I LOVE your family picture and look forward to the next one with everyone together.Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07033823622722768455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-12438002480676025102011-09-16T10:20:43.894-07:002011-09-16T10:20:43.894-07:00hugs & prayers - what a difficult situation!hugs & prayers - what a difficult situation!Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03957627640306312748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-74626022074981334782011-09-16T09:20:56.188-07:002011-09-16T09:20:56.188-07:00Praying for you all.Praying for you all.chavafor4https://www.blogger.com/profile/17070341294588669433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-26258848300828254682011-09-16T08:39:18.532-07:002011-09-16T08:39:18.532-07:00Oh Selina, how heart breaking. We all know that s...Oh Selina, how heart breaking. We all know that she has an amazing family waiting for her, but the poor little thing has no idea whats around the corner. Praying for Brent as he navigate the rest of his journey. I can not wait until he brings her home! (BTW, your family picture is ADORABLE!) -MeghanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-80189781553586498422011-09-16T07:48:01.662-07:002011-09-16T07:48:01.662-07:00Selena, Praying for you as you wait, for Brent for...Selena, Praying for you as you wait, for Brent for wisdom, For the foster parents for comfort, for Alyssa for peace and bonding.Judy Deatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15479673628825588831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-2113376139652449692011-09-16T07:42:01.926-07:002011-09-16T07:42:01.926-07:00We also went through this with our first adoption ...We also went through this with our first adoption and it is heartbreaking to watch them grieve. I still struggle from time to time that I stole her away from her foster family and that she may have just done better in their care... but I know that God had a different plan for her life and that she wouldn't have those opportunities living in China (education, surgery, etc). We still deal with issues that relate to that trauma and how she was raised her first two years with her foster parents. They loved her and grieved her as well. We have made a point of sending them photos and letters a couple of times a year, so that they can see that her life is great.<br /><br />It will get better. Soon the smiles and laughter will come out again and slowly she will emerge from this grief.Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16297231059269640402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-12848150208706277882011-09-16T07:22:11.488-07:002011-09-16T07:22:11.488-07:00It gets better. Trust me. I lived through it. M...It gets better. Trust me. I lived through it. My daughter was 22 months the day I met her. She was not fostered but we were told that she was the favored child by all the nannies. Almost everything you have described that Brent is witnessing in Alyssia's "grieving" could have been my words at the time. I had this illusion that we would go to China and they would hand her to us and she would love us and we would be one happy family. But the reality was that she cried the whole two weeks. She would cry until she would turn absolutely red and exhaust herself until she fell asleep. If my husband would even look at her she would scream like someone was trying to kill her. And I ended up just crying my way though what I thought was going to be the greatest moments of my life but were actually some of the most terrifying moments of my life. That screaming hysterical child turned 13 a few weeks ago and she is an absolutely amazing child. She is my only child so at the time I really didn't understand what was happening - but when my sister had her daughter and I watched the attachment, I finally understood. Think of Ethan as he is today. Imagine if someone came in and took Ethan and that someone didn't speak English and looked different than all the people he had seen in his whole life. It would be devastating for him. It may seem like the foster parents are overdoing, but just remember they have loved her for so long - this is a grieving process for them too. Hang in there - I promise, it will get better.<br />~EveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-46003616044823614872011-09-16T05:13:27.831-07:002011-09-16T05:13:27.831-07:00Praising God for the wonderful care they took of y...Praising God for the wonderful care they took of your baby girl. :) Now, praying that your husband will finally be able to be "daddy" and everything will be smooth sailing from here on. :)Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09058314814552954216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-74830949539127046452011-09-16T05:12:02.935-07:002011-09-16T05:12:02.935-07:00Wow, my heart breaks for the foster parents, but t...Wow, my heart breaks for the foster parents, but they did know going into this that she wasn't going to be with them permanently. I wish there was a specific protocol foster families would have to follow to honor the new families better.MotherOfTwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01200670382500733572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3219233868886406359.post-83178805545159086072011-09-16T04:57:57.926-07:002011-09-16T04:57:57.926-07:00Wow, that sounds stressful for your husband! Must ...Wow, that sounds stressful for your husband! Must be so hard to feel torn like this. The good thing is that she's so young and will probably adapt more quickly. She's a doll!Leahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06039577030874040919noreply@blogger.com